• I wish we could reach into the world of our dead and talk to them.  We would learn first hand of their gruesome deaths, and then perhaps we would be kind to the living.  Could the gaping hole collapse?  Could the dead come back and talk?    

• Among Somalis, a class war rages: On one side the war lords, on the other the word lords.  Somebody, stop this fight!

• After fifteen years of national ruin, Somali intellectuals have yet to learn how to listen to each other.  How can we save the nation when even our most prominent scholars are hardly on speaking terms?  Simple: Hope and pray the lords of war grow a heart for the lofty art of compromise and then be a light onto us.

• True, the pen is mightier than the sword.  But this was before the advent of the computer.  Now, the gun is mightier than the keyboard.

• How do you spell FEDERALISM in Somali?  S-U-I-C-I-D-E.

• The essence of Somali pride: My clan has never been defeated and shall never be defeated by any other Somali clan.  In essence, we have no national pride.

• When will Somalis learn that God does not think like a Somali?

• Mogadishu and the regions: Rebellious regions and a repulsive center working together assiduously and harmoniously to hold the country asunder.  This is not conflict; this is cooperation.

• The INTERNET: The great equalizer.  Where else can you find a distinguished professor and an ignorant lout on the same platform?

• Why are women so conspicuously silent on the Internet?

a) Out of wisdom;
b) Out of modesty;
c) Out of fear;
d) None of the above.

Answer: None of the above.  Somali women cannot bear the sight, the sound, or the stench of farting fat Somali males in cyberspace.

• What was democratic about SSDF, national about SNM, united about USC, patriotic about SPM, or Somali about any of them? We have become a nation of liars.   

• What does POLITICIAN mean in Somali? SMART: One comes across so much smarter sounding like a politician than like a doctor or a mathematician. Who wants to miss out on the label SIYAASI?

• Somali concept of civic duty: Say NO, and then say NO, and then say NO; and when you get your way, quiet down, do nothing, and get ready for the next round of NO’s.

• I applaud Somali intellectuals: They have played the doctor very well, except only up to a point.  The diagnosis is there, and the prescription is very well laid out. Now, where is the medicine? MA QARDHAASAY DALKA KU DAWEYNAYAAN?

• We Somalis are a proud race.  We accept nothing from above except rain, Europeans and the Ethiopian King. 

• Once again, there are reports of famine in Somali territories. Gruesome pictures are bobbing up on my screen.  I can hear the barely audible hoarse voices of the dying:  WATER!  It is time to do what we do best: Hit the keyboards, NOT the pockets.

Mohamoud Ali Gaildon
E-Mail: mgaildon@aol.com

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