| |
|
|
More than one wife is INSANE,By Sharif AminMarch 3, 2005 In the seventh century in Arabia, when a man could have as many wives as he chose, to prescribe only four was a limitation, not a license to new oppression. However, polygamy was known from the very day of existence of mankind on earth. Neither, the Jews nor the Christians forbade polygamy. On the contrary, the prophets of Jews and Christians were known as polygamous. For instance, King Sulayman (Solomon) is said to have had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. Dawut (David) had ninety-nine and Ya'qub (Jacob) had four. Christianity, as well didn't forbid polygamy at all, as there is no single word banning polygamy in their scripts. Further, the Qur'an immediately followed the verses giving the Muslims the rights to take four wives with a qualification and exception that has been taken very seriously. Unless a man is confident that he can be scrupulously fair to all his wives, he must remain monogamous. Muslim law has built on this; a man must spend absolutely the same amount of time with each of his wives; besides treating each wife equally, financially, morally and legally, a man must not have the slightest preference for one but must esteem and love them all equally. It has been widely agreed in the Islamic world that mere human beings cannot fulfill this Qur'anic requirement. It is impossible to show such impartiality and as a result, Prophet Mohammed's qualification, which he need not have made, means no Muslim should really have more than one wife. In countries where polygamy has been forbidden, the authorities have justified this innovation not on secular but on religious grounds. In addition to the foregoing, marrying to more than one wife in and of itself runs contrary to moral good and human relations. Among all the polygamous societies throughout history, there were none that limited the number of wives that a man could marry. As recently as the seventeenth century, polygamy was practiced and accepted by the Christian Church. In addition the Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) has allowed and practiced polygamy in the United States. In Islam, the regulations concerning polygamy limit the number of wives a man can have while holding him responsible for all of the women involved. “Marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one or one that your rights hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice”. Qur'an 4:3. Even the Qur'an from all indications does not encourage marrying more than one wife. One perfect example is the Prophet Mohamed. He was married to one wife, Khadijah daughter of Khuweilid, at the age of twenty-five, and he took no other wife during the twenty-five years of their married life, until she died. He had of all his children, except one, from Khadijah. Therefore, she and her children enjoyed the prophet's full attention for as long as she was married to him. For all practical purposes, Mohammed had one wife, from the age of 25 to the age of 50. He married Aisha three years after the death of Khadijah. After this marriage, he took other wives. None-Muslim writers have directed much unjust criticism against him. The facts are, all these women were “old maids” or widows left destitute and without protection during the repeated wars of persecution. As head of the State of Medina, the only proper way in which Prophet Mohammed could extend both protection and maintenance to them was by marriage. During the remaining thirteen years of his life, he married the aged widows of his friends who left many children. The children needed a complete home, with a fatherly figure, and the prophet provided that. Providing a fatherly figure for orphans is the only specific circumstance in support of polygamy mentioned in the Qur'an 4:3. Other than marrying widowed mothers of orphans, there were three more marriages in the prophet's life. His close friends Abu-Bakr and Omar insisted that he marry their daughters, Aisha and Hafsah, to establish traditional family ties among them. The third marriage was to Maria the Egyptian; who was presented to him as a captive of war and whom he immediately liberated. However, she refused to leave his kind protection, and therefore he married her. In another narration she was given to him as a political gesture of friendship from the ruler of Egypt. This perfect example tells us that a man must give his full attention and loyalty in marriage to his wife and children in order to raise a happy and wholesome family. The Qur'an emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong words: “If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one”. Qur'an 4:3 “You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter how hard you try”. Qur'an 4:129 The Prophet (peace be upon him) was giving inspiration from Allah about how to deal with multiple marriages and the difficulties encountered therein. It is not an easy matter for a man to handle two wives, two families, and two households and still be just between the two. No man of reasonable intelligence would enter into this situation. More essential to marriage relationships are morality and self-giving creating a just and cohesive society where the deepest needs of men and women met. Westerns society, which permits free sex and unrestricted sexual relationships has created an abundance of “fatherless” children, many unmarried teenage mothers; all becoming a burden on the country's welfare system. In part, such an undesirable welfare burden has given rise to bloated budget deficits, which even an economically powerful country like the United States cannot accommodate. It must be a prophet, and indeed it was prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) who directed Muslims to get married or observe patience until one gets married. Abdullah bin Mas'ud reported Allah's messenger as saying, “Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire”. (Bukhari and Muslim) In conclusion: Practicing polygamy can produce the following negative effects:
By: Sharif Amin Email: sharifamin@hotmail.com ________________________________________________________ Sharif Amin , Assists Survivors of Torture and War Trauma Advocate for the Victims of Domestic Violence and Human Rights abuses Denver, CO. USA .
|
